Every day is a challenge to love one another. I hope that in this blog I do not display self-righteousness or act as if I have it all figured out and that married life is easy for me now. Each day I must put forth a great effort to stay centered in Christ rather than in myself. And some days I do well and some days I don't do as well.
To close out the month of May, I need to point to our Blessed Mother once again. She is the shining example of the virtue of humility. There was a time that I thought being humble meant to think less of myself, when it actually means to think of myself less. Blessed Mother immediately said yes to being obedient to God's will for her and did not consider the difficulties it was going to cause her. Then after the Holy Spirit overshadowed her and she became pregnant with Jesus, she travelled to her cousin Elizabeth to serve her in her time of need. Blessed Mother was thinking about serving and not about herself.
A lot of my problems within family life stems from desiring an easier way of living life. Managing a household requires constant service. The home is our mission field and the work is never done. I never worked alongside Mother Teresa in Calcutta, but something tells me she never looked at the amount of work she had to do but looked at the opportunity to serve God in the poor. She was a humble servant. And so many people were drawn to this small holy woman.
Being a part of something good and positive draws others. It feels good to be a part of something positive. In family life, my complaining about how much I had to do or detailing how much I did do, with an air that no one appreciated it, did not make my family members jump to help me. It was when I served humbly and with joy, that I received unsolicited help, and it was a very positive experience for everyone.
For years, I did not want any help because it usually caused me more work. I missed out on having my husband help me cook because it usually meant washing more pans and a thorough cleaning of the stove/oven too. The children wanted to help, but they might spill something or cause me to then need to wash the floor, etc. There is not much humility in any of that!
Staying positive about being a humble servant requires support. Being in family ministry, I talk with a lot of couples who are in difficult marriages. It is easy for them to find friends and family members who will tell them to get divorced and move on. It is not as easy to find friends and family members who will point to Jesus and encourage us to be faithful servants. The purpose that I feel God is asking me to share my lessons on this blog is to encourage one another in continuing to run the race to the finish, fight the good fight. This earthly battle is difficult and we need each other to support our striving to win the prize.
To my surprise, the prize of love came to me when I started to think about myself less. Many saints have said that all the other virtues flow from the virtue of humility. Seeing serving others as an opportunity to be a part of something good and positive drew people to me and I felt the love of God through the love of others. It is a grand prize.
Whether single, married, separated, divorced, religious, let's encourage one another to seize the opportunity to be a part of something good and positive and serve humbly.
"Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'" 1 Peter 5:5
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7
"What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and in lack of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit? So faith by iteself, if it has no works, is dead." James 2:14-17
"May the God of steadfastness and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Being Intentional
Today is our 38th Wedding Anniversary! When we got married 38 years ago, I did so with the intent to stay married until death do us part. I didn't realize then that unless we bring new life into each day through the Spirit of Love, we do die even though we still breathe, and we do part, even though we remain together. Thank you, Holy Spirit, the giver of life, for flaming the embers of love in our heart, to bring us to live anew each day on fire with the love of God.
The biggest change in me that reaped the biggest reward in my vocation as a wife was when I began each day being intentional about being the best wife that I could be with the help of Jesus and His Blessed Mother. I pray each morning for the grace to have pure intentions in all that I think, say, and do, motivated solely for the purpose of giving glory to God, our Father and creator. By my being faithful to my promise to love and honor my husband until death do us part, I glorify God. I end my morning prayer by asking Jesus to help me to remember to do everything with Him and not just for Him, so my work each day will be a worthy offering to God.
Jesus is the only one who could die for our sins as He is the perfect sacrifice. When I try to do things without Him, which happens all of the time, I feel stressed to get done what I think needs to be done. When I make a conscious effort before each task to call upon the Holy Spirit as my advocate and counselor, everything seems to go much smoother and I feel that I am about our Father's business alongside Jesus. With Jesus, it is a perfect sacrifice, done with and for love.
There is a Christian Family Life radio station that I came across since recently moving that does a great job of promoting intentional living. It really made all the difference for me many years ago when I read a book about waking up each morning with the intent to honor your spouse throughtout the entire day. This intention became mine and it did not hinge on whether my spouse deserved to be honored or not, or whether he was honoring me. The knowledge of the Holy Spirit that God honors me and loves me faithfully each day, became enough for me. I felt joy in that inspiration and that joy captured my husband too. It started slowly to change everything, and the planting of our life as one started to sprout new green leaves.
Each day is a gift from God to celebrate life and love. Let's all celebrate today by being intentional about it!
"Make love your aim, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts" (1 Corinthians 14:1)
"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends;" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
The biggest change in me that reaped the biggest reward in my vocation as a wife was when I began each day being intentional about being the best wife that I could be with the help of Jesus and His Blessed Mother. I pray each morning for the grace to have pure intentions in all that I think, say, and do, motivated solely for the purpose of giving glory to God, our Father and creator. By my being faithful to my promise to love and honor my husband until death do us part, I glorify God. I end my morning prayer by asking Jesus to help me to remember to do everything with Him and not just for Him, so my work each day will be a worthy offering to God.
Jesus is the only one who could die for our sins as He is the perfect sacrifice. When I try to do things without Him, which happens all of the time, I feel stressed to get done what I think needs to be done. When I make a conscious effort before each task to call upon the Holy Spirit as my advocate and counselor, everything seems to go much smoother and I feel that I am about our Father's business alongside Jesus. With Jesus, it is a perfect sacrifice, done with and for love.
There is a Christian Family Life radio station that I came across since recently moving that does a great job of promoting intentional living. It really made all the difference for me many years ago when I read a book about waking up each morning with the intent to honor your spouse throughtout the entire day. This intention became mine and it did not hinge on whether my spouse deserved to be honored or not, or whether he was honoring me. The knowledge of the Holy Spirit that God honors me and loves me faithfully each day, became enough for me. I felt joy in that inspiration and that joy captured my husband too. It started slowly to change everything, and the planting of our life as one started to sprout new green leaves.
Each day is a gift from God to celebrate life and love. Let's all celebrate today by being intentional about it!
"Make love your aim, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts" (1 Corinthians 14:1)
"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends;" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Priests of the Domestic Church
Here is a short video we made for our family life ministry. I share it today as my blog post.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Peace
My posts have been few and far between these last few weeks and I find it easier and easier with each passing day, not to take the time to share the recipes of faith, hope, and love, that have enriched my family life. So, God has put it on my heart to step it up a bit. It is my intent to start blogging on Tuesday and Friday of each week, in order to be more consistent and get into a routine. Since today is Wednesday, I'll begin this new schedule next week.
Today, I'd like to share about the gift of peace that Jesus left us. I saw a bumper sticker once that read, "No Jesus, no peace. Know Jesus, know peace." The peace that Jesus gives is in knowing that He is always with us. The Truth that God is always with us brings me much comfort now. Jesus is so alive in my heart due to daily scripture reading and receiving/adoring the Blessed Sacrament, that I think about Him throughout my entire day. He is definitely with me and that brings me much peace.
I equate that to how a young child desires to be in the presence of their parent/s because they feel safe. They know from experience that their mom or dad will care for their daily needs. Even though they know that their parents love them, seeing the parent is what gives them security. I knew that God loved me, but it was when I started to see Jesus by experiencing Him as the source of love that was transforming my life, that I felt safe and filled with the peace of knowing that Jesus is always with me.
Children receive the most important basic need of feeling safe from their parents. I used to think that as long as I love my children, they will know love, and peace will flow from that love. But what I have learned is that a peace-filled home depends on the love between the mom and dad. The very first parenting seminar I ever attended was when our first-born son was 5 years old. The presenter was a psychologist and he opened his presentation with saying that the best thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father, and the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Just as Jesus is the heart of the church, parents are the heart of the home, the domestic church. Jesus is in the sacrament of Marriage and once I began to put my Marriage at the center of our family life rather than the children, there was peace in our home. Our children felt secure in our love for each other. Whenever there was conflict between my husband and me, there was no peace. Whenever there was love between us, there was peace and the presence of Jesus. Our children feel safe and know love when they experience the source of love that flows between mom and dad and Jesus. Peace be with you!
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you." (John 14:27)
"And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)
Today, I'd like to share about the gift of peace that Jesus left us. I saw a bumper sticker once that read, "No Jesus, no peace. Know Jesus, know peace." The peace that Jesus gives is in knowing that He is always with us. The Truth that God is always with us brings me much comfort now. Jesus is so alive in my heart due to daily scripture reading and receiving/adoring the Blessed Sacrament, that I think about Him throughout my entire day. He is definitely with me and that brings me much peace.
I equate that to how a young child desires to be in the presence of their parent/s because they feel safe. They know from experience that their mom or dad will care for their daily needs. Even though they know that their parents love them, seeing the parent is what gives them security. I knew that God loved me, but it was when I started to see Jesus by experiencing Him as the source of love that was transforming my life, that I felt safe and filled with the peace of knowing that Jesus is always with me.
Children receive the most important basic need of feeling safe from their parents. I used to think that as long as I love my children, they will know love, and peace will flow from that love. But what I have learned is that a peace-filled home depends on the love between the mom and dad. The very first parenting seminar I ever attended was when our first-born son was 5 years old. The presenter was a psychologist and he opened his presentation with saying that the best thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father, and the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Just as Jesus is the heart of the church, parents are the heart of the home, the domestic church. Jesus is in the sacrament of Marriage and once I began to put my Marriage at the center of our family life rather than the children, there was peace in our home. Our children felt secure in our love for each other. Whenever there was conflict between my husband and me, there was no peace. Whenever there was love between us, there was peace and the presence of Jesus. Our children feel safe and know love when they experience the source of love that flows between mom and dad and Jesus. Peace be with you!
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you." (John 14:27)
"And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Thanksgiving
I'm the type of person who loves to share good recipes with everyone and anyone. When I serve a delicious homemade meal, I put my whole self into its creation. Seeing others enjoy it, brings me much joy. This is how I first related to God our Father. It made me realize that when we enjoy His creations, we glorify Him and He is very pleased. His pleasure was felt within me as I was experiencing genuine gratitude of all that is good and beautiful in my life; all of which comes from Him.
The discovery that He created the world to share it with us and shower us with blessings, made me see everything as a precious gift. Instead of feeling sad that I didn't have enough love, appreciation, material wealth, I became overwhelmed with thankfulness of all that I had, including my husband. The fact that we are gifts to one another to be enjoyed rather than to be criticized or used, was a real eye opener for me. I realized that I had things really mixed up.
Just going through the motions of marriage rather than ejoying this union as a great gift from God, made me see that I was also going through the motions of participating in the Catholic faith and not enjoying it as a great gift from God. Each Sunday, we obediently attended Mass. Most of the Mass I would be thinking about the dinner I was going to prepare or the groceries I needed, etc. During the homily, I would hear words about love and discipleship, and can remember hoping that my husband was taking these words to heart, never considering my own heart. Once I began to see all of the blessings that God was bestowing on us throughout the week, there was a huge revelation within my heart.
Attending Mass each week became an opportunity for me to be like the one leper that returned to give thanks to Jesus for healing my hard heart. I was no longer attending church on Sunday to fulfill an obligation mindlessly, in the hopes that since we were coming to God, He would give me the grace I needed to get through another week. Being truly thankful for all of God's gifts, I started to see God in everything and everyone. Just as I put myself in the things I served, I now knew that God put Himself in all of His creations, and I couldn't wait to get to Mass and share in this powerful Thanksgiving meal with all my pilgrim brothers and sisters to celebrate God's presence in our daily journey.
My eyes were opened to so many beautiful things. Even though the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross happened only once, He lives that love for us each and every day until the end of time. It is what we celebrate at every Eucharist. His gift of love can be experienced each and every day if we only seek to see it in our daily lives. And then when we come together at Eucharist, it is a thanksgiving celebration of all the love that He shared with us throughout the week. He is still pouring all of himself out for us, in the form of bread and wine so that we can unite in love. It is an indescribable mystery, and a true Thanksgiving meal, as the word, 'Eucharist' means 'Thanksgiving.'
Even though our wedding ceremony took place only once, we are to live that love each and every day until death do us part; pouring ourselves out for the other. Then when we unite in the marital act, it is in thanksgiving for the love and caring that took place during family life. Whenever my husband puts me before himself, he is making love to me, and vice versa. For instance, when my husband took over one of my duties so that I could relax, he was making love to me. Whenever we physically unite as one, it is a thanksgiving celebration of all the times we made love through our caring of each other in family life. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Lord, for opening the eyes of my heart!!
"Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice, and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then said Jesus, 'Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?' And he said to him, 'Rise, and go your way; your faith has made you well." (Luke 17:17-19)
The discovery that He created the world to share it with us and shower us with blessings, made me see everything as a precious gift. Instead of feeling sad that I didn't have enough love, appreciation, material wealth, I became overwhelmed with thankfulness of all that I had, including my husband. The fact that we are gifts to one another to be enjoyed rather than to be criticized or used, was a real eye opener for me. I realized that I had things really mixed up.
Just going through the motions of marriage rather than ejoying this union as a great gift from God, made me see that I was also going through the motions of participating in the Catholic faith and not enjoying it as a great gift from God. Each Sunday, we obediently attended Mass. Most of the Mass I would be thinking about the dinner I was going to prepare or the groceries I needed, etc. During the homily, I would hear words about love and discipleship, and can remember hoping that my husband was taking these words to heart, never considering my own heart. Once I began to see all of the blessings that God was bestowing on us throughout the week, there was a huge revelation within my heart.
Attending Mass each week became an opportunity for me to be like the one leper that returned to give thanks to Jesus for healing my hard heart. I was no longer attending church on Sunday to fulfill an obligation mindlessly, in the hopes that since we were coming to God, He would give me the grace I needed to get through another week. Being truly thankful for all of God's gifts, I started to see God in everything and everyone. Just as I put myself in the things I served, I now knew that God put Himself in all of His creations, and I couldn't wait to get to Mass and share in this powerful Thanksgiving meal with all my pilgrim brothers and sisters to celebrate God's presence in our daily journey.
My eyes were opened to so many beautiful things. Even though the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross happened only once, He lives that love for us each and every day until the end of time. It is what we celebrate at every Eucharist. His gift of love can be experienced each and every day if we only seek to see it in our daily lives. And then when we come together at Eucharist, it is a thanksgiving celebration of all the love that He shared with us throughout the week. He is still pouring all of himself out for us, in the form of bread and wine so that we can unite in love. It is an indescribable mystery, and a true Thanksgiving meal, as the word, 'Eucharist' means 'Thanksgiving.'
Even though our wedding ceremony took place only once, we are to live that love each and every day until death do us part; pouring ourselves out for the other. Then when we unite in the marital act, it is in thanksgiving for the love and caring that took place during family life. Whenever my husband puts me before himself, he is making love to me, and vice versa. For instance, when my husband took over one of my duties so that I could relax, he was making love to me. Whenever we physically unite as one, it is a thanksgiving celebration of all the times we made love through our caring of each other in family life. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Lord, for opening the eyes of my heart!!
"Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice, and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then said Jesus, 'Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?' And he said to him, 'Rise, and go your way; your faith has made you well." (Luke 17:17-19)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
THE Holy Family
The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph is the model for all families. The Gospels do not reveal much about their family life. I believe that is because their family life was ordinary. Their focus was taking care of one another and their neighbors for and with the love of God. I look to them for constant help in my family life.
In our daily living of marriage and family life, I am sure that it is the precious gift of our Blessed Mother, given to us by Jesus at the cross, that helps to bring Jesus into our life. The closer my husband and I get to Jesus, the closer we get to one another. Mary is the holy vessel that God used to bring Jesus into human life. In addition, Mary and Joseph knew what it was like to lose Jesus when at the age of 12, Jesus was found teaching in the temple after being sought by His parents for three days. And then, at the wedding feast at Cana, Blessed Mother sees there is no wine left. No where in scripture does it say that she was put in charge of making sure that all the guests were served enough food and wine. But, when she saw that they were out of wine, she went directly to Jesus. I believe that like a good Mother, she is watching over every family and when she sees that we have run out of love, she runs to Jesus and asks Him to provide more.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7) Because I did not know that it was more Jesus that I needed, I did not ask God for it. But Blessed Mother knows and she asks Jesus for us, even if we don't put her in charge. Then she tells us the same thing she told the servers at the wedding feast, "Do whatever he tells you." (John 2:5) Jesus had the servers fill the stone water jars with water. Our bodies are made up of mostly water. Just as Jesus turned the water in the jars into good wine, Jesus will turn what flows through us into the good wine of compassion if we do what He tells us. "This I command you: love one another." (John 15:17)
Jesus lived the commandment to honor your father and mother. We imitate Him when we honor our parents, and His. Most non-Catholics do not understand the high place of honor the Catholic Church gives to Blessed Mother. We do not adore her, as if she is God. We honor her because she is the mother of God, and she was given to us by Jesus to honor her. Whenever I call on Blessed Mother, I honor her, and it gives glory to God. Jesus is the fruit of her womb and the mother of love. Whenever I look to St. Joseph as Jesus did as a child, I honor his faithfulness as Jesus' foster father, and it gives glory to God. Jesus gave everything for us, and that includes Mary and Joseph. I am ever grateful to God for the presence of the Holy Family in our marriage and family life.
The month of May is dedicated to our Blessed Mother in the Catholic Church. The first day of May is devoted to St. Joseph under his title of "The Worker." May all of us work hard at being ordinary by taking care of one another and our neighbors for and with the love of God. Jesus provides everything we need.
In our daily living of marriage and family life, I am sure that it is the precious gift of our Blessed Mother, given to us by Jesus at the cross, that helps to bring Jesus into our life. The closer my husband and I get to Jesus, the closer we get to one another. Mary is the holy vessel that God used to bring Jesus into human life. In addition, Mary and Joseph knew what it was like to lose Jesus when at the age of 12, Jesus was found teaching in the temple after being sought by His parents for three days. And then, at the wedding feast at Cana, Blessed Mother sees there is no wine left. No where in scripture does it say that she was put in charge of making sure that all the guests were served enough food and wine. But, when she saw that they were out of wine, she went directly to Jesus. I believe that like a good Mother, she is watching over every family and when she sees that we have run out of love, she runs to Jesus and asks Him to provide more.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7) Because I did not know that it was more Jesus that I needed, I did not ask God for it. But Blessed Mother knows and she asks Jesus for us, even if we don't put her in charge. Then she tells us the same thing she told the servers at the wedding feast, "Do whatever he tells you." (John 2:5) Jesus had the servers fill the stone water jars with water. Our bodies are made up of mostly water. Just as Jesus turned the water in the jars into good wine, Jesus will turn what flows through us into the good wine of compassion if we do what He tells us. "This I command you: love one another." (John 15:17)
Jesus lived the commandment to honor your father and mother. We imitate Him when we honor our parents, and His. Most non-Catholics do not understand the high place of honor the Catholic Church gives to Blessed Mother. We do not adore her, as if she is God. We honor her because she is the mother of God, and she was given to us by Jesus to honor her. Whenever I call on Blessed Mother, I honor her, and it gives glory to God. Jesus is the fruit of her womb and the mother of love. Whenever I look to St. Joseph as Jesus did as a child, I honor his faithfulness as Jesus' foster father, and it gives glory to God. Jesus gave everything for us, and that includes Mary and Joseph. I am ever grateful to God for the presence of the Holy Family in our marriage and family life.
The month of May is dedicated to our Blessed Mother in the Catholic Church. The first day of May is devoted to St. Joseph under his title of "The Worker." May all of us work hard at being ordinary by taking care of one another and our neighbors for and with the love of God. Jesus provides everything we need.
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